Story-time

There was a cuckoo which used to sing really well and was quite popular in the forest for its skills. Once it found a piece of bread from the leftovers by the villagers. It was very happy and kept the small quantity in its nest. A fox saw this and made up a plan. The fox said ‘You sing so well, i have never been able to listen to your songs. Could you please sing one line for me’. The cuckoo was very happy and said ‘why not’ and sang a few lines for the fox. The fox tapped and smiled and clapped with its feet and danced. The fox then suggested ‘It would be an improvisation of your skills if you hold something in your mouth and try singing’. The cuckoo took this as an opportunity to learn and develop and held the bread in its mouth. As soon as it popped open its mouth for singing, the bread fell and the fox picked it up and ran away.

In a village lived a wise man who was very fond of his friend. They both travelled countries and celebrated festivals together along with their families. The wise man’s friend did not have a child and that was something that he was always upset about. When the wise man found a new job in a far off city, he asked the friend to take care of his son till he came back. The friend immediately agreed. As the little boy started growing up, the wise-man’s friend never told him about his father. When the wise man returned after a few years, the friend enquired as to who he was and after all the pleading and crying the friend refused to recognize him. He was wise to the whole world but could not be wise to himself.

Moral of the stories: The world is built on trust but trust those who are trust-worthy!

Definition

As one of my cousins puts it, “I m more than charmed, captivated, moved, touched, cooked, hooked, booked, elated, delighted, fancied, proposed, … … been loved and loving on top of my toes and heels” and I think He doesn’t believe in most of these ‘-ed’ words, so this cannot be the definition. I have not been able to give it the ‘Right’ definition as yet, but I may be able to tomorrow, may be a few years down the line, may be in a decade, may be before I die, may be never.

Do you always need a definition to put things into perspective?

If you want to have a coherent discussion, where everyone’s on the same page… Yes!

Where marriages are irreversible

"That was a painstaking task. You are an ideal example of what a woman is today and will be in the years to come. Thanks for spending your valuable time with us. I m sure our audience have liked you very much and I wish all the great success to you and your family", the journalist complimented and ended the talk show. Ruhina recalled the days when she was in college and how glamorous life looked back then - Easy, accomplish-able, good-sweet-magical, happening, etc. She used to drive the old Fiat at 90-100 Km/Hr on the National highway, played music which people at a Km's distance could listen to, talking obnoxiously and taking more number of friends in the car than it could accommodate.

They had been to this trip in Dehradun where she thought she met the man that she was looking for in life. Everything seemed right at that point of time and they were tied into the wed-lock as soon as she graduated. With a degree in Sociology from LSR, she had never thought of dis-continuing her education. Things changed all of a sudden and she was unable to pursue her dreams. Apparently, he was not the man he had pretended to be and life lost all the charm within a few days. She had fought hard with her parents and family convincing them that he was the right man for her. This man called up his friends every evening and they drank and enjoyed while she wept in a corner of the room. He used to wake up every morning and beg her for what he did last night. But the evenings never changed and living life under the same roof became difficult. She did not file for separation nor did she raise her voice, instead she left him and found herself a job in Delhi. Facing society in a typical Upper-middle class environment was not so easy and with a child in her arms, the first few years of her work life were as difficult as trying to clap with a single hand.

Life moved on, nothing extra-ordinary happened in her life. She brought up her child, got her married, retired with a pension and created her own circle with whom she can talk and interact till one day when she saved a Politician's daughter from an accident and she came into limelight. That's when the journalists did a background check and called her up for an interview. Else she would have died unknown as the wife of the man who never tried figuring out where she had gone. She got a few assignments from the Television industry post the interview and the old man came running and said 'You know how much I searched for you. Where were you?' to which she said 'I can never forget you, you know why. You remind me of my lifetime of a mistake'.

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I hear loud noises coming from the balcony. I come out to see what is happening. The good old Physics teacher is again scolding one of his sons. 'How dare you say such a thing. I will throw you out of the house' the teacher said. 'Its not me who is telling. The whole school knows about her. Why don't you leave my mom and let us go out of this house', the son replies. 'You are not entering this house from now. Go wherever you want but don't show me your face ever again'.

The teacher's wife continued staying with him for the sake of society, for the sake of her children, for the sake that she was not financially independent, for the sake that she did not want her mother to die an early death, for the sake that she could not believe in second marriage, for the sake that 'it only happens once', etc.

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In the Indian context, marriages (Arrange or paired doesn't matter) are an irreversible reaction. Once into one, you can't think of another unless you are a B or a C Khan. You love it or hate it, there is no second to it, that's just it.

Separation and mutual split-up still happen but people are afraid to walk to the Judiciary. Primary reason being its expensive nature and secondary being the social habitat that doesn't permit one to come out from the same even if one wishes to.

'Happiness: are you kidding me. That's the last in the list'.

Echos

As she entered the room, a hundred eyes turned around, as if there was some despair removed, they paused their conversations, a few glasses slammed the marble floor, musicians stopped playing music and the one who entered, felt she had not entered at all.

Quick flash of memory. She had entered a similar hall, the groups were more or less the same but the situations were different. She had 'him' by her side. People had wished them good luck for life, unparalleled happiness and a great career. Their wishes seemed to have lasted for a medium term, may be they were not strong enough to last for a life time, forget some uncountable number of lives. It was after 3 years that she had come to a social gathering. The 12 years with him - she called them 'golden' and the strong memories like these and many more, she thought, would suffice for the rest of the life.

A few got up from their seats, striked the normal conversation that we generally do with a stranger. What more could she have expected - a stranger treatment was more than expectations. Warmth and love and care were not for betraying everyone in the last 3 years. She was finally out of the house arrest. How she had stood before the mirror, trying to smile, it was an old affair with smiles now, she did not understand as to how so effortless was it back then. It looked artificial, weak, the gums (which were loose and erupted blood) showed up a bit too much. She tried for a good number of times before giving up.

People stood with their glasses and plates to get more servings. She moved ahead to get something for her own self. As she was helping herself with some pudding, she noticed how thin her wrists looked. Her favourite bangles were slipping and were trying to leave her hand. 'You also want to leave me now' is what she thought. Ignoring all that went inside her, she moved closer to the table where the desserts were placed. There was something oddly familiar about the fruits, especially the apples, the way they were cut and decorated. A light crossed again. She had said 'Could you tell me what did Adam tell Eve on the 24th of December every year?'.. He had giggled and replied 'It is Christmas, Eve'. He had taken out the apple from the fruit-basket and had worked with the knife for the next 5 mins. At the end of it, he had said, 'Could you be my apple? Would you mind spending the rest of my life with me'. She had said 'Happy Christmas-Eve then... well, it wasn't as bad as she had expected' and both of them had laughed again and again.

There was some insane thing done to the apples today. Few years back, perhaps she could have called that creativity. Everything was too hard to accept, he was almost everywhere that she went (except physically). She ran out to swallow some air.

a post i want to revisit

i was so touched by sudi's words today. she said she wanted to be a noble doctor, a doctor who cared more for the souls than for the body, more for the art than for the science, more for love than for money, more for the nerves than for the bones.

hope she achieves what she is worth of this year and in the years to come. i love you baby, more than you think i do.

i will revisit this page again in october and that time, i would like to see you reaching those dreams.

blessing in disguise

someone has said it right. 'good things always happen to good people' - i realized it today. i was going through a very tough phase in life, a phase i want to never think about (but it flashes through my mind like wind in a matter of seconds), a phase that left me mature, a phase that made me think life was beyond imaginations, a phase that left me baffled for sometime, that left me realizing "this is who i thought cared about me". but one thing remained common, i continued to do what i could do best. i tried to learn as much as i could. i took the comments close at the same time away from my heart. the auricles and ventricles were confused some days, i would leave them and think practical some days. i would bring them near and caress them and become the good-old-one again some other days.

life throws up un-thought challenges i realized but it gets you closer to the reality. i like the reality and i want to stay closer to it. that reality is actually the blessing in disguise, disguise because it doesn't prepare you before it comes over you. i like you disguise, stay closer to me.

perfection

often i feel like staying silent

not uttering any words, staying highly dumb

by expressions, by impressions, by all

as if everyone could understand my emotions

as if all knew what i did not say

as if it was all so obvious

somehow these silences give me time to think

to think that the world is uncertain

that there is no perfection

that it is nothing but silliness to think of perfection

after all the world is also tilted, it is not perfect either

how can i expect everyone to be perfect then

why do i seek perfection everywhere

why am I living in an illusion?